Bomo Golfo

This is Dean. He is a Salop. Dean is a consistently high performer at Bomo Golfo, Players Champion twice in all the even years (2013 and 2015) and usually on the winning team too, his uncanny ability to shoot 86 on any course in any weather always keeps him in the hunt. On the course he is known for his dead straight drives off the tee and consistent iron play only let down by a love-hate relationship with his putter. In the bag Dean proudly hides a £6 hand me down Dunlop driver under Sénor, alongside "The Pounder" and "The Chipper". Away from the course Dean’s leadership is top notch, motivating his team with inspirational emails every day for 10 days leading up to the tournament, including subject Local Dialect, What to Pack, Swing Tips and Golf Related Jokes, and the all-important quotes from golfing legends.

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Alex is one of the founders of Bomo Golfo, and has been critical to its growth due to having played lots of pool with most people in his 20s (and getting several of them into golf). Ever focused on the individual competition, Alex’s commitment to winning has extended not only to rigorous practice and lessons to learn how to play off uphill and downhill lies, but also to buying a new driver before every competition to fix ‘that’ problem with his swing (on this occasion, one that doesn’t go 100 yards into the trees to the left) - all to prevent another case of his silent rage taking over the 4-ball. However, his cocky attitude and old orange Egyptian golf shirt have helped him overcome his struggles and win the Players Championship twice (but tellingly with no wins in the main competition).

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You know the guy. The one who practices his swing at work whilst waiting for the printer. The guy who practices his swing in a pub waiting for a pint. The guy who builds a fully operational golf simulator in his shed. Dave is that guy. Dave loves golf. We know this because he tells us a lot. He also loves golf clubs and is usually the proud owner of at least 3 sets at any one time. After learning his trade in the deserts surrounding Cairo Dave returned to the UK in 2008 and has spent the years since then working hard to learn every facet of the game and now has a decent handicap for a father of three children under five.
Dave stands out from the crowd at Bomo Golfo having played in a real club and has won honours twice at Finchley GC. Probably the first player you want on your side for the team competition as he focuses on nothing but golf whilst refusing opposition gimmes and racking up his own points. Known more for his Saturday night drinking than his Sunday golf, Dave was individual runner up twice, in 2012 and 2014 but broke his duck in 2016 to end the Alex/Dean monopoly and win the championship himself.

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Once was Bomo Golfo's most improved player, Simon has still yet to put the finesse on his scores so that his handicap matches the game he plays. After a few years of hitting every club in the bag 160 yards he's now a 'proper golfer' and has no hand me down clubs left in his bag. Bomo has not been his friend with regards to scoring except his all time low score at the Cromwell in 2013 where he sneaked 44 points in a round including 2 birdies and 6 pars (playing off 22...). 2015 was Simon's best individual performance resulting in third place but he remains a bet for the future if he can channel his natural sporting ability into a golf score.

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Committed to hiding the world's carbon emissions in holes, his dedication to the greatest game has never been on a par with the keener members of Bomo Golfo but he never the less has a decent swing built on timing and a seriously crooked left arm. Laurence earlier vied with Phil over the years for the battle of the 28 handicaps and after being trounced twice in 2012 and 2013 managed to get a last day pairing against Simon instead in 2014 and won gross 112 to 119 to start a new chapter of winning. Since that hallowed victory Laurence quit his life north of the wall in Nottingham to further his skills required for the nineteenth hole by working and bumming around in Val D'Isere for six months with 3 foot of snow burying the 1st to 18th holes of the local golf course, what a waste! Laurence returned from the mountains with a face like a woolly mammoth just in time for Bomo Golfo 2015 to keep his 100% record alive and find a new 28 handicapper nemesis in Shan. Laurence is the 2nd highest matchplay points scorer with 6 but may have his work cut out in the future...

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Keeping the group balanced in the eyes of liberals and political correctness watchdogs, we have Tom the Lefty. The big hitter of Bomo Golfo Tom can scorch the ball miles down the middle. Or left. Or right. He will say that he has not shown his best golf at Bomo Golfo over the years and indeed in 2014 won his club championship with a cheeky 75 at Woodlands. Unfortunately for Tom this means he is playing off 14 now and having to chase some low scores to keep his points in the 30s. [Correction, after a few years of preferring his Dad's birthday to Bomo Tom has shot back up to a solid 18 handicap. The potential is there for a great game but Tom has not put it together on the weekend before and especially has crumbled under some mild banter from Simon in the past...

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A 2014 addition to the Bomo Golfo line-up, Paul has the potential to be a winner having had a handicap as low as 10 in the past(although he’s not quite sure how long ago this was – the mind plays tricks when you’re nearly 40). Booming drives, accurate approach play and a fine touch around the greens are interspersed with the more wayward shots of somebody who “doesn’t play as much as he used to”. This may be because he now spends more time collecting football stickers (pretending they’re for his son), running half-marathons and crazy 12-mile obstacle courses like Tough Mudder (with Dean). It may also be because – as an ardent QPR fan – he doesn’t understand the concept of a winning mentality. Still, for 3 days every year now Paul can attempt to summon up his inner demons and even if he doesn’t win the overall competition, as long as he beats Dave on the Sunday he’ll be a very happy man. Actually I think he does want to win....

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Shan is a confident golfer, seeking to shoot or break par every time he turns out and firmly of the belief that if you can score a birdie on one hole you should be able to do it on all of them together (like a nine dart finish). His golfing education comes from entire weekend sessions of Tiger Woods golf, playing 72 hole championships without leaving the sofa along with Alex ("who needs a degree anyway"), and the long time ownership of an ‘I am Tiger Woods’ T-shirt. First stepping tentatively onto the course in Perivale, he made his 18 hole debut with a promising 104 in Cairo in September 2005 under the pyramids. He is hoping to carry this form 10 years on into 2015’s edition of Bomo Golfo. Those who know him well have learned to expect a frustrating degree of competence at anything, and possibly the largest white golf shoes known to man.

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Keith, or Smez as he’s known to friends due to his unpronounceable surname, is a new addition to Bomo for 2017. A man more known for his abilities on the football field, his non-athletic physique is offset by incredible natural sporting ability. He is one of those rare things, a Manchester United fan from Manchester (actually from Hyde, birthplace of both Harold Shipman and Timmy Mallett). Smez will be travelling all the way from Bermuda in order to sample the delights of Norfolk, having enjoyed sending other Bomo members photos of himself playing on some of the most beautiful-looking courses. It’s not just about sending nice photos though. Smez will have been practising. His relaxed and laid-back demeanour hide a highly competitive streak and Smez will not be travelling halfway around the world just to make up the numbers. (He's played two / won two....).

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Earning entry to Bomo Golfo in 2016 by building Dave a lovely patio, Duncan brought some outdoor spirit to Boom Golf Margate his first outing. An 18 handicap was granted and Duncan showed the promise of great things with some enormous drives and powerful iron play. A man who obviously loves his golf Duncan's desire for greater accuracy and consistency was obvious throughout the weekend and the potential is there to be a danger in the future. His keen competitiveness brought a perfect 100% matchplay record with 3/3 wins. His focus alongside the golf seemed to be an overwhelming desire to make the most of his weekend drinking pass and a level of disappointment on the Friday at a lack of enthusiastic drinking buddies was made up for on the Saturday by challenging Margate to keep pouring the fun until the early hours which was soaked up with the biggest double breakfast anyone had seen since their teenage years!

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A hard man to track down off the course, it's also not a given where he'll be on it. From hole to hole Dave can swing between hitting 300yd drives, dexterous chips and birdie putts to balls disappearing into adjoining postcodes, little duffers and scores far above his handicap. Unfortunately a ski accident in 2012 meant his right arm had to be amputated, forcing him to miss the Robbo Cup. Chilvers returned in 2013 with a new bionic arm, telling every one about his chronic slicing problems and general grumpiness with the game of golf. In true Chilvers form he smashed out a reasonable 92 on the Saturday before shooting the low score of the weekend with a peerless 81 on the Sunday and nearly stole the cup from Deano. A man never to be underestimated, many have been fooled by Chilvers nonchalant attitude, seemingly being more interested in how many cigarettes he has left than shots, only to find a super competitive sportsman walking off the with the spoils.

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Little remains known about Marcus, Duncan's plus one for the 2017 tournament, Marcus jetted in for 48 hours in a fancy Alfa Romeo, provided some distinct shaping on his golf shots and managed to not come last even though he only played two of the three rounds. He even walked away as part of the winning team! Maybe he'll return to Bomo one day and we can learn more of his luxury champagne business, or maybe we will have to come over to Jubilee golf to see the man in action again.

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Luke came to Bomo 2017 with a handicap of 10, worrying the faithful that their brand of mid teen handicap golf would be shown the real way to play by not only a better player, but one much younger too. Luckily for everyone except Luke, whatever form he had when he obtained his handicap had long deserted him it seemed and he struggled from tee to green and gained much sympathy from all quarters. Hopefully he'll be back in the swing of the game now and just a score or two away from single figures.

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Phil is probably the most natural talent of the bunch. This is not actually shown in his results but more a reflection of the lack of practice time that he needs to maintain his game at it's current standard. Whilst inconsistent, when he hits it, it stays hit. Preferring to use nothing more than a 4 iron off the tee, when Phil connects he can smash a big ass draw out to 230 yards and plays with the pros. Phil’s main issue is that more often than not his first shot goes 20 yards and without fail his second is the one which sails perfectly down the fairway. In recent years Phil has unfortunately let having children get in the way of his golf and unless we all move house to Essex or whereever he lives now we fear his best Bomo days are behind him. (come back Phil!).

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The father of the Robinson's, Graham has only graced Bomo Golfo once as part of Alex's Stag Do/Golf weekend, the Robbo Cup. He will claim that Alex, Simon and Laurence all learnt their trade from him and further from their Grand-dad Harry. One Christmas all three boys received matching Dunlop drivers which were according to Graham "value for money" at £6. It should not need pointing out here that none of the boys still have said drivers but curiously Dean still has Alex's hand me down and uses it to this day to greater effect than any of the £300+ drivers in their bags. With age indeed comes wisdom. Graham was last seen switching sports cars and girlfriends with uncannily similar frequency and playing the odd 9 holes to keep his game tuned for Boxing Day specials.

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